....

I'm Sorry!

neopets game

this is such an amazing way to waste time and not think about food.
its helped me ignore my hunger pains soooo much!
try it out :)
click the link below.
add me as a friend if you want too.
sweetsour024
ya it may be a little childish but its a great way to kill time.

(this is my pet)

The binge

I hate myself soooo much tonight.
I was doing sooooo good, fasting and eating only wheni had to and under 300-500 a day but burning off everything I ate. Well tonight I had a rice cake and everything went down hill from there.
I regret it and it so bad I can't even explain it!!

I need someone to talk to. I haven't talked to C in forever. Like a year ish now. I feel like I have no one. It's like it's me vs food and I'm scared of it. One slip up and I fail badly. I will try again tomorrow, and I'll overly exersize to burn what I ate today I promise!

Trying hard.
Sandyyy <3

Negative cals

Feeling the tiredness of no energy in my system. My stomach only full of water and lactose free milk. I still feel awful.
I didn't eat much today but from what I did eat I burned it all off, plus more on my DDR.

Ugh im starting to deffinatly feel like Im on my own. My family is always fighting... Feels great. My friends always have the good things happening to them, all I have to talk to is my boy. Who even then were no officialy dating where friends with benefits as he doesn't have time outside work and school to date.

I hate this. I really do and I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I'm cold all the time, I'm hungry, and my mom worries about me. Bu she is too busy worring about family drama to really notice.

The fast

Sooo I've been fasting alot laitly. Started Tuesday. Lasted 43 hours, (till thursday night) then I was forced to eat. I tried everything to get put of it. But I failed.
I had little bit of salmon, potatoe(baked) and peas. Then had a little bit of this dessert bread at my aunties bday.
I feel fat, I look fat, I hate it.
I was able to fast all of Friday unroll today. At lunch I had a salad piece of bread and my mom made me eat a hot cross bun. That ended my 38 hr fast. Mad I hate the weekends. I think I'm gonna go purge that lunch right now I feel so gross and fat from it.
After I'm gonna go work the rest off on my DDR.
Lottsa love Sandy

Valentines day

Wow, it's the night before valentines day and for what I thought was real actual plans for the first time on valentines day... And they're not.

I really think that for once I can say, I hate valentines day. Last year, my bf at that time wouldn't talk to me... The next day he dumped me. The year before... I didn't have one ... And the year before that, he wouldn't talk to me, I ended up dumping him 2 days later. But this year I have a bf. We were gonna go swimming, but nope he has to go shopping, then we both have to work. Well fuck you, you have no idea but I'm crying right fucking now, at 11:56pm the night before valentines day.

Hope everone else's day is better then mine.
Imma stay strong tho. Maybe when I'm smaller I'll have better luck with guys.

Love sandy. <3

I'm back!

Sandy is back,
except this time I'm in control.

I'm sorry I dissapeared for a couple of months, after my teeth came out I was forced to eat. As I collapsed many times. I gained :( I was mad. So I've been working hard to loose. I didn't want to let you guys down, so I made a deal I wouldn't come back untill I fit my size smaller jeans and guess what I do! So I'm back for good.

I found out I'm lactose intallerent, woot a great excuse to avoid dairy products :D
I'm also allergic to all nuts, and cherrys, so another yay for another excuse I can use :D

Gonna stay strong, Hopfully soon I'll be the goal size I've always dreamed of.
I MISSED YOU GUYS!
-Sandy