Fuck, I cant go to the gym!!!

Well, my housekeeping job just got real. 

My training is pretty much complete so now I'm on my own, and WOW its heavey duty. 

Like I'm sweating all day because of it! 

YES, this is good. 

This is exactly what I wanted. 

But now I'm so tired I cant do dance :( 

I haven't been to yoga, and tomorrow is my last day with my month pass.

And I keep falling asleep to early. 

Pros... I'm getting paid to burn a ton of calories. 

But what is better?

Gym, dance, yoga 1-2 hours a day or working so hard cleaning, sweating for 8 hours 5 days a week???

Still breathing!

xxx Sandy

Day 2 of cleanse

Soooooo, 

Unfortunately, my cleanse has ended. No, not because I failed, because the cayenne pepper reacted to my gums. Apparently, the mix that i had bought had too much cayenne in it, it caused my gums in my mouth to start peeling. and caused me to have all sores in the back of my throat as if it had burnt it...

For now I'm going to give my throat a break, its really sore today, it stung badly when I had lemon water :/

BUT I found this new cleanse I'm going to try next week called Herbal Detox, Ill post a picture when I start it. It has a lot of good herbs in it and it is in vitamin form. Your suppose to eat a little bit, however, your not allowed dairy, gluten or sugar. Hopefully this will work well for me. 

UPDATE on my home-wrecker of a friend! --thank you everyone for your thoughts and opinions! I decided to let it take its course as interfering may put a strain on our friendship, specially being as I'm technically not suppose to know.

However, HE HAS A SOLE! He is sorta coming to terms that is wrong. BUT he is still continuing. 

Although, one wired catch, he said the other week that her husband walked in on them a bit ago and now they are splitting up. THIS WEEK he has changed it, saying he knew the whole time, and he is cool with it. So as if they are swingers. I call bullshit.

What do you think???

Still Living! Staying Strong!

Sandyy xxx

Day 1!!

The master cleanse starts today!!
Hopefully it goes well. The juice is a little too spicy, and the salt water makes me heave...
Hopefully I can get through it.

Staying Strong!
Sandyy xxx

The Master Cleanse (Lemonade Diet)

Alright, so I'm going to start a different fast soon.
Its called the Master Cleanse, AKA Lemonade Diet.
so for at least 3 days maximum 30, you drink lemon cyanne pepper and syrup, or water.
And it detoxifys your body!
Im so excited for this!

My jobs are going well! my new housekeeper job is great! Its a real workout! just what I wanted!

And as for my home wrecker of a friend. Apparently the girls husband walked in on them having sex, the girl and her husband are now separated... but somehow I don't believe it and it as like its his way of making it sounds like its 'ok'.
We shall see! Ill keep my blog updated.

Stay strong! <33
Sandy! xxxx

Playing Sitting Duck

Me myself and I, we are good. Irritated but good.
I've started my 3rd job and so far, so good!

However, I'm stressed out. Now, I don't understand why in gods name this bugs me but I gotta let it out.
A friend of mine, who is suppose to be the obnoxious caring good guy in my group, is hooking up with his married friend, who has a kid!
I didn't necessarily care for this girl before I found out, but now that I know I can't stand her.
But, to top it off, they don't know I know. Now, if they knew I know, they would be aware of the fact it goes against everything I believe in, no I'm not christian, but I do have morals.
Why the hell does this bug me soooo much. And to top it off when we all hangout together this girl randomly brings up about her husband or her daughter and all I can think is I feel bad for your family, you don't deserve them you fucking whore.
Nothing good will come about this for my friend, I'm worried about him getting hurt.:(
If anyone has any suggestions on what to do please please tell me. Its making me uber stressed.
But as far as I can tell I'm stuck playing sitting duck.

xxx Sandy

Gone Bat Shit Crazy!

Not even lying, I'm trying something new..
K, so, I was at yoga today and I thought to myself, if I find a job that Would put me to work to help me loose more weight I'll be golden! PLUS more money! Yay to being paid to loose weight!
Mom's getting me hired at the hotel she works at so I can work there as a housekeeper cleaning rooms in the morning! :)

On another note, I went to my boots and glutes workout class and traditional hot yoga tonight! I feel wonderful!! Also, yesterday I bought the 'Magic Bullet' its a wonderful blender, that can blend ice, food, anything! Its amazing!
Staying strong!
Love you all!
xxx Sandy!

Soy Milk

Well, I possibly figured out why I wasn't losing weight on a small booster juice and hardly any food. There was soy milk in the type I was getting (matcha monsoon add blueberry)... soy milk makes me bloat because I'm allergic to it... fuck me :( so no more! hopefully now I can pass this platue.

(The following may trigger cravings)
I swear to god I am so mad at myself... I broke down.. I got overly stressed and had an enormous migraine yesterday. I bought a bowl size bag of m&ms :( I didn't eat them all but I ate half... and now they hidden in my drawer. However, I have been doing OK besides that, I haven't snacked at work, and I have been avoiding pop and nestea (I love nestea) and I've been having lemon water! I'm trying so hard not to go back to binge/purge, but if i don't stop the binge I may star up again. I have been so stressed since last weekend,
On the bright-ish side, I'm applying for a new job tomorrow, possibly a 5:30am hotel breakfast hostess. It includes benefits :D But we shall see, you would think a resume which includes 5 year customer service, 2 year supervisor and 4 month server, with 2 year volunteer looks pretty damn good for such a low profile job, but you never know. Wish me luck!

Anyways, I'm off to bed!
Gotta be up at 6am, dropping off my resume at 8, then heading out of town :p
Goodnight!
Sandy xxx

Relapse

Apparently I have relapsed, not in the way your thinking, but with my PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder). I was at my counselors and due to the event Sunday of serving the guy who robbed me, see post from Monday here .... he has considered it a relapse.. Unfortunately I will probably have to continue to visit my counselor for another month or so each week. I guess its not that bad, I mean he really does help, it just take up a good chunk of my day. I also don't like telling friends that i cant hangout because I have my appointment, they always start acting like there is something wrong with me, or they ask me why and its like uuugghhh just don't worry about it. Or, if I tell them about the robbery they ask more and more questions, which cause me to get flashbacks. I did alright today, I think, I didn't get to go to hot yoga though, this actually made me really sad. BUT I'm going to Moksha yoga tomorrow, its 75 mins which will burn 470 calories an hour according to Livestong.com. Still no movement on the scale :( Love always Sandy xxx
This will be me... one day <3

NEW Medicine ball. ftw!

OK well... what a great start, my titles a lie.. I bought a Reebok soft weighted ball :p not a medicine ball, they both do the same thing so oh well. I figured it would be a good thing to try. I had a rough day today, however, I managed to finish strong. Two days ago I had a fright at work, I was serving my robber, he tried to hide his face so I didn't figure that out until his group was paying.. lovely. So, after a helpful counselor appointment and an annoying 3 hours of work I kicked butt at my country Zumba class and finished with an hour of hot yoga. I feel amazing! But sadly, I haven't yet lost weight... You would think that with eating healthy, working out 2 hours a day, running around at work, and having vitamins that boost your metabolize like chili and green tea I would be able to loose SOME pounds :( I may have to go back to fasting... hopefully that doesn't cause me to relapse :/ Happy to be back! Love you all! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Sandy <3

I'm back for good, I promise..

Holy crap. Its been almost 2 years... I'm sorry. I have been through hell and back. At my work I have had 2 robbery's only a month apart, both of which I was the center of. The 1st one didn't threaten me but the 2nd one held me up with a knife to my throat... Was just lovely... sarcasm... Today, I feel like crap. I took a Zumba class tonight and then a work out class right after. Now I hurt. Thanks to those fucking robberies I've put on weight. I am 153 pounds and I am not happy about it. It's all stress, but it makes me mad. I makes me cry at night. It makes me not want my boyfriend to see me naked, even though I know he thinks I'm beautiful. I'm I a bad person? Why are all the bad things happening to me? Why did I get robbed at work, not once, but twice? Is this a sign that my near death experience was suppose to actually kill me and my time is soon? I was at work (my new job [I'm a server at a family restaurant]) last night, and low an behold I realize, after I finally see his face after he finished his food, that I was serving the 2ed guy who robbed me, and 2 of his family members. What did I do? I pretended like nothing was wrong and as if I didn't know who he was... he recognized me, I'm sure he did before I recognized him, he was hiding his face the whole time I was serving them. I have a restraining order against him... why didn't I kick him out? ughhh :( Why is life such a fucking bitch? So in order to take it off my mind I worked out tonight like no other... now I'm paying the price, I'm sore. I'm doing the same tomorrow too, 225 squats, country workout class, then to finish with hot yoga. To all my followers, I hope you'er still with me. xxx stay strong xxx -Sandyy <3