Friday, August 7, 2009


Then someone tells me how good I look
and for a moment
For a moment I am happy
But when I'm alone
No one hears me cry
Plan today....
im burning as many calories as possible.... (DDR)
for lunch when i have to eat i will eat salad....
lettuce and cottage cheese... maybe an apple if mom starts watching.
for dinner ill have the same salad....
hopefully that can get me through without my grandmother questioning.
That is all i will eat today!

You should know you're not on your own
These secrets are walls that keep us alone

I don't know when but I know now

Together we'll make it through somehow

Together we'll make it through somehow

Courage - Superchick



  1. Your doing so well, its so difficult when the family is keeping an eye out on you. Anyway keep it up and stay strong!

  2. Girl, this is very sad. I understand that you want to be thin and feel good about your self but this is not the way to do it. I'm sure you here this all the time, but just wanna shine some light on you from someone who's been there. First off all, all the women you've posted on your blog are thin, but healthy, you will not get this look from not eating. You're body will not be able to have any definition, aka you'll look saggy and squishy no matter how small you are. Also when you completely restrict food, your metabolism slows down and you retain water. If your BMI goes below 19 for an extended period of time you won't be able to have children. You're hair will start to thin and you grow strange darker hair on your tummy and arms (body trying to warm up). You'll serotin will get out of wake so you'll be uphappy and depressed all the time. You're family and friends will go from noticing, to being worried, to just not wanting you around. Not to mention the amount of damage you will do to your organs. I have had my gal bladder removed, appendicitis, painful intensinal complications, and might not be able to have babie, and lost so much on an emotional level too all because I wanted to control something, to control my body, thinking it was beautiful. In reality, this disease makes you the ugliest person you can be!! Just look at the women you have posted, they are skinny, but healthy. I still struggle everyday to just stop eating and take the easy way out, but then I remember my lowest low, 81 lbs at my senior prom, sitting at a table alone while all my friends danced and partyed but I couldn't get up because I hadnt eaten in weeks. I'm not going to tell you to get over these feeling your experiencing, because they will never go away, but be stronger that than and step above. Try eating non-fat yogurt, zero fat, healthy protien and the pro-biotics will make your tummy flat (no bloating). Take up running (you'll be able to control your body, and loose weight in a healthy way). Keep eating veggies and fruits. You'll look more like or inspirations then and not like a dying pile of bones. Make sure your taking vitamins and other suppliments. You can be skinny and still be healthy! I know its hard, but I'm sure you'll figure it all out! Good Luck and remember be above the stereotype!!!