Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Why am I not happy?

I'm finally under 130.
But somehow I'm not excited about it.
Is it because I feel like shit?
Is it because I spent the past two nights crying?
Is it because I don't understand my boyfriend?
Or is it the fact my boyfriend doesn't think he should be with be because he thinks I'm perfect and he is an unaffectionate dick?
I don't think he his and he won't listen to me.
We have been together almost 2 year I love him so much and he doesn't believe that he can be loved because he can't love back.
I just can't deal with this.
And I don't know what to do.
It's hard to explain because everythig I do, including now I start to cry.
Thinking about it.. U know he is scared of commitment, but what if.. What if he is realizing he does really like me but but wants to push me away because he is scared?
I just don't know. :(
Like last night he assumed I wanted to break up... I didn't. I just wanted to know what was up.
Fuck I'm a mess :(

Can't stand life right now.

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