Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Meltdown

I got a new job...
Now I work two jobs, both keeping me extremely busy. It's great because now that I'm done school I'm runningback and forth between jobs and dance, it's also keeping me occupied enough to avoid food. Except I haven't lost anything or gained anything. And for that I have become very depressed. Sure I'm also making a lot of money so guarented enough for university come September. But I miss my friends. I either get ditched at last minute. There busy or I'm at work. For some reason I feel they are avoiding me now that they are not forced to see me every day. Currently the only buddy I see outside of work and dance is my boyfriend. But I miss my girls. Well the few I still have :( it's 1am and I've spent the last hr crying over the fact that I'm lonely. Just typing those words make me cry.
Half my family decided they hated me and my parents so they buggered off couple years ago. One of them was my cousin... My best friend, my second half... She was the sister I didn't have. And I miss her :(
I finally had got out of my ED routine, but it's back. No doubt.
I'm scared, upset, lonely ... I'm depressed.
I'm overworked, tired, ... I can't eat.
I'm losing hair, brittle nails ... I'm sick
I'm fat,
I don't know how long this will last but I need support. I need someone who will be there for me. I just need a friend, someone, to talk to

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